The "Good Wife"

The “Good Wife”

I have recently began a Bible Study on how women can make a difference in their marriage. The first few weeks, I was scrambling throughout the week, and not even completing all 5 days of reading before reaching the following Wednesday for discussion. This last Wednesday, I shared with the ladies that I was somewhat ashamed of myself, and that I knew that I was only getting out of this study what I was putting in…(which wasn’t much). We discussed ways for me to make the time within my new work schedule. I have been diligent this week with the study, and really do feel as though I am getting more out of it. I recently found myself a bit anxious during day 2 as I began to recall previous times in my marriage that I have read an inspiring book, or been to a marriage seminar. It is often with these experiences that I find myself striving to be the “good wife”. Calm, loving, graceful, non-argumentative, affectionate….you know, like that women in Proverbs 31. But you keep behaving, and keep behaving with nothing in return, and eventually all that good behavior fades away. So my anxiety was that I was going to fall right back into that trap again. I so desperately want to be a Godly wife, and so I pray and pray…”Lord, please make in me the wife that you would want me to be” Then I get this revelation of why this cycle keeps repeating itself. Am I being the “good wife” EXPECTING to see results in my marriage, or a change in my husband? Of course I am!!! I was surely praying all the right prayers, and meaning them from the depths of my heart. But where was my motive? It was in seeing a change in my husband. We aren’t to be acting as Godly wives in order to see change, because that’s when we will NOT see change. We are to be the wives God called us to be because that is what God says to do. His word guides us as the wives we are to be. So the motive really needs to be for pleasing God, not for changing the husband. It’s of course a very difficult lesson to learn, and an even more difficult lesson to live. But as I continue in this journey of marriage I will change my motivations and God will pour out His blessings in our marriage. And so as I found myself struggling this week (after being good) with feeling as though I was not my husband’s priority, and that he wasn’t placing me first before everything else, such as his friend Roger, his basketball game, his garage work I was praying (i.e…whining) to God this morning during prayer…”Oh, God why can’t I be his first priority?, I just want to be put before all the other stuff” and that’s when God answered. He gently spoke to my heart with that loving still small voice that said “When will I be YOUR first priority, when will you put ME before all that other stuff?” Ok, so I can’t argue with that one. God is right (duh!) I don’t always make Him priority; I don’t always place Him first in my day, so how can I ask Him to move in my marriage when my focus is all wrong? Yet, He still does, cause that how awesome He is! James 1:5 says that if we lack wisdom, we can go to God and ask, and it will not only be given, but it will be given generously! I plan to commit to make God priority, seek wisdom in Him and in my marriage, and in everything I do. Because by obeying Him, He is then allowed to work in me! Will you make Him your priority, placing Him at the top of your “to do” list?