Even in the midst of Joy..there shall be sorrow
And even in the midst of sorrow, there shall be Joy.
Have you ever laughed until you’ve cried, and then cried because you laughed? I recently spent 5 days away from home as a band camp chaperone. What joy that experience was for me. I embraced the fellowship of other sisters in Christ. I know that God truly had a purpose for me being there. We talked, we prayed, and most of all for 5 days we laughed continuously. No prescription could even compare the medicinal effect that week had on my life. Sometimes the situation truly was funny, and other times not, but we laughed anyway. Now, I’m not talking about an occasional chuckle here and there, I’m talking a true laughter from the soul. Like when your 6 month old learns to laugh from his belly. How exciting it is for a mother to hear that “belly laugh” from her baby. That is the type of joy I have had. We found things to be hill rolling hilarious at most times.
You see for about 6 weeks now, I have been suffering from a terrible case of depression. No real reason why, no “triggers” in life, it just hit me, and hit me hard. I have a wonderful husband, 5 amazing boys, and beautiful home, in all, I am greatly blessed. It has been extremely difficult for me to share that with others. Especially those whom have never experienced it. How would I ever expect someone to understand all of this. I don’t even understand it most days. Some days I wake up feeling like I can take on the world, and other days I wake up feeling as though the world is taking me on. I even feel guilty if I’m having a good day, as if I’m supposed to be in constant suffering. So, as I draw ever so nearer to God, I know deep in my heart that this battle is for a purpose. Knowing that gives me the strength to go on some days. I do not for one moment deny that it is the Devil who has an attack on me. I believe very much in the Spiritual side of this. I just trust that God is walking me through this as I run to Him. In the end there will be Victory. I have spent these past weeks on my face before God, drawing back to Him, where I feel I once was in my life.
Even during those 5 days of constant joy, I still managed to nearly fall apart about mid way through the week. How great it was to have those ladies there to pick up on my weakness, and show me love. In a strange sort of way, that moment of weakness was good for me, humbling I would have to say. It keeps my situation real. Because sometimes I find myself telling myself that I’m crazy, not depressed, and that I should be able to just pick up and move on, and that I’m not really going through any struggles, I am just weak. But this is real, very real, and I am not weak. I thank God for that experience, every waking moment of it, for it can never be replaced.
So the next time you find yourself in a valley of sorrow, reach out to some Godly sisters (or brothers). God places people in our lives for a purpose, and it is never His intention for us to battle alone. He loves you, and has placed you here for a purpose. Just as that is true, it is also true that the devil is real, and he brings real sorrow, but with God your sorrow surely will become joy. Cry out to Him however you know how right now wherever you are, I assure you, He will be there.
Truly I say to you, You will be weeping and sorrowing, but the world will be glad: you will be sad, but your sorrow will be turned into joy. John 16:20
