Icing on the cake

For starters, I overslept this morning. There goes my plans for the entire day!!!!(well, as so it felt as I awoke) 9:18….Are you kidding me right now???? I could not even believe I slept this late. Who is sabotaging me, who turned off my alarm clock? Why does this room always have to be dark? Why didn’t anyone wake me? Naturally, ME oversleeping is already everybody’s fault, EXCEPT mine! So, I drag myself from the bedroom, and into the kitchen to begin my coffee, but first I must clean some evidence from the messies the day before, switch over some laundry so that I can snatch me a clean towel before someone takes them all. Forget that shower while the coffee brews, someone else decided they would hop in before me…. {{sigh}}

So I continue to clean, and play referee while attempting to delegate bedroom duty to the younger two, I mean, we DO have a birthday party here tomorrow. Can’t these 2 get along for 5 minutes???? And where is my coffee creamer??? Scrambling and searching frantically for some stinkin’ coffee creamer….who wants to come against a mother without her coffee? I double dog dare ya! Yup, a can of evaporated milk will be doing the trick today! {{aah}}

I rush out the door to deliver Cole to another party, and then I’m on my way to gather the goods for our festivities just 24 hours away. The day progresses and I get only a portion of my “plans” accomplished for the day. Being the wonderful, nice mother I am…I decide to check in with the oldest of the teens to see when he might want a ride home. Their communication skills are so great, he likely would have waited until it was time to be home to call and ask for a ride. “It’s ok mom, I will have her mom bring me”…Great!!! I can wrap up this shopping and get home to bake 2 cakes! Don’t you know, no sooner did I begin to pull out from Kroger parking lot (WITH a ½ gallon of half and half) “B” decides to call and ask, can I just get him after they return from the movie?....Uh, No I can’t, I have ice cream in the trunk!!!  {{sigh}}

Last stop…gas station to fill up (no princess should have to pump her own gas, so yes this IS a big deal) My arrival home greets me with carrying in my own groceries, cleaning up some more evidence from the messies, swapping out the 6^th load of laundry for today, baking 2 cakes, cooking a half a meal, cleaning MY mess, and shipping the hubby to work…..{{sigh}} And to imagine. I actually questioned why it was that I felt so burdened today…..

It is now 1:30 am, I am completely exhausted, and utterly unaccomplished for today! Tomorrow as our guests arrive, there will be dust in the shelves, dirt on the floor, more dirty laundry in the baskets, and quite possibly the faint odor from 3 wet dogs lingering in the air. The only clean towel left in the house will be hiding under my pillow, If I am unable to accomplish a shower, I promise to wear deodorant. J But more importantly, I will be making it to church in the morning to show Jesus how important He is to me, and that He is completely worth my time!  I will then be enjoying the afternoon with family celebrating the birth of my 5^th son!

Tired priorities

Tired priorities

As I roll my lifeless body from beneath the warmth of my blanket, stumbling over to the obnoxiously blaring alarm clock, I smack the snooze button and crawl gently back into that place of warmth. Just at that moment I feel a gentle tug at my heart from God. Can you believe He would do JUST as I asked Him to do? He is lovingly trying to wake me up. And I blew it! I continued through the next 40 minutes repeating that same routine every 9 minutes (the length of the snooze setting)

You see, I have actually been praying to God to help me to be more alert and awake in the mornings, especially on the days that I work.  I want to be (I desperately need to be) starting my day in His word and in prayer MORE than I have been. Remember the other day when God spoke to me during my prayers (ok, so I was whining…..but He gets it) about my husband making me his priority, and God reminded me of how often I place Him (or how often I don’t place Him) as my priority? Well, I really am trying.

I suppose admission is the first step. I realize that it was ME that desires to draw nearer to God, and place Him FIRST in my day. (Of course that is what He wants for us, but He ultimately leaves the decision to us) It was ME that asked Him to help me with awaking in the morning, and it was ME that ignored His prompting when He followed through. But it was also me that recognized my imperfections, knowing that I fall short of His glory! And it was me that asked Him to forgive me (AGAIN) and yes, we will try again tomorrow. For His mercies are new each and every morning!  Lamentations 3:22-23

On this note, I should lay my weary head upon my pillow…for I have stuff to do in the morning!

Let this be a challenge to each and every one, to make God the priority in your day. If you struggle with prioritization, ask Him to help you! He is loving and Merciful and WANTS to have a close knit relationship with us…we’re His kids!!!

~In Christ

The "Good Wife"

The “Good Wife”

I have recently began a Bible Study on how women can make a difference in their marriage. The first few weeks, I was scrambling throughout the week, and not even completing all 5 days of reading before reaching the following Wednesday for discussion. This last Wednesday, I shared with the ladies that I was somewhat ashamed of myself, and that I knew that I was only getting out of this study what I was putting in…(which wasn’t much). We discussed ways for me to make the time within my new work schedule. I have been diligent this week with the study, and really do feel as though I am getting more out of it. I recently found myself a bit anxious during day 2 as I began to recall previous times in my marriage that I have read an inspiring book, or been to a marriage seminar. It is often with these experiences that I find myself striving to be the “good wife”. Calm, loving, graceful, non-argumentative, affectionate….you know, like that women in Proverbs 31. But you keep behaving, and keep behaving with nothing in return, and eventually all that good behavior fades away. So my anxiety was that I was going to fall right back into that trap again. I so desperately want to be a Godly wife, and so I pray and pray…”Lord, please make in me the wife that you would want me to be” Then I get this revelation of why this cycle keeps repeating itself. Am I being the “good wife” EXPECTING to see results in my marriage, or a change in my husband? Of course I am!!! I was surely praying all the right prayers, and meaning them from the depths of my heart. But where was my motive? It was in seeing a change in my husband. We aren’t to be acting as Godly wives in order to see change, because that’s when we will NOT see change. We are to be the wives God called us to be because that is what God says to do. His word guides us as the wives we are to be. So the motive really needs to be for pleasing God, not for changing the husband. It’s of course a very difficult lesson to learn, and an even more difficult lesson to live. But as I continue in this journey of marriage I will change my motivations and God will pour out His blessings in our marriage. And so as I found myself struggling this week (after being good) with feeling as though I was not my husband’s priority, and that he wasn’t placing me first before everything else, such as his friend Roger, his basketball game, his garage work I was praying (i.e…whining) to God this morning during prayer…”Oh, God why can’t I be his first priority?, I just want to be put before all the other stuff” and that’s when God answered. He gently spoke to my heart with that loving still small voice that said “When will I be YOUR first priority, when will you put ME before all that other stuff?” Ok, so I can’t argue with that one. God is right (duh!) I don’t always make Him priority; I don’t always place Him first in my day, so how can I ask Him to move in my marriage when my focus is all wrong? Yet, He still does, cause that how awesome He is! James 1:5 says that if we lack wisdom, we can go to God and ask, and it will not only be given, but it will be given generously! I plan to commit to make God priority, seek wisdom in Him and in my marriage, and in everything I do. Because by obeying Him, He is then allowed to work in me! Will you make Him your priority, placing Him at the top of your “to do” list?