I’m doing everything the books say, and my kids aren’t turning out like the ones in the books!!!

You receive the great news that you’re going to be a mother. You are overwhelmed with gratitude. What will he/she be like? What will you name him/her? Will he/she have mommy’s smile, or daddy’s height? You read every book, magazine article, and pamphlet you can get your pregnant little hands on. You eat right, exercise; listen to labor and delivery horror stories. You carry and nurture that little bundle of joy growing inside you. 10 months later, yes 40 long (like never ending) weeks later, the big day arrives. The cramps are stronger, things are starting to progress. 14 hours later you are announced the proud mother of a beautiful new baby. You freeze until you hear the music of that first cry. (It’s quite likely that this will be the one of the only times that cry sounds like music)

Now you are home, and your family is complete. Pure bliss…right? Your baby is perfect in every way. He/she begins to reach the milestones as you read about. He/she first holds his/her head up, then rolls over, begins to crawl, then walks, and so on… You survive the terrible two’s with minimal professional help. And you’re on to school years. Now all of those great attributes you’ve instilled into your child will be over casted by the influence of every “cool” kid in school. You really think you’re able to stay ahead of the game until middle school. Grades begin to plummet, attitudes are undesirable, and they are beginning to develop an attraction to the opposite sex. You quick, run out and purchase a whole new library of self-help parenting books. You know the kind that says that their way is the only proven way effective in raising well rounded faith based children. You can creatively correct, challenge your kid til Friday, institute reality discipline, or just merely blow! While all of these books provide a wealth of inspiration, knowledge, and resource, the truth is we as parents should not be fully relying on the information contained within those pages. There is a much greater resource

.

The Holy Spirit and all of the words held within the pages of the Bible. It isn’t just about instructions on how we can raise well rounded, productive, graceful children of God. It is really about how WE are to live as well rounded, productive, graceful children of God. Therefore reflecting that very image upon our children. Throughout their entire life, we cannot grow weary in our faith, in our walk or in our boldness! God’s word is infallible, and by following it we too shall be without fail! 

I have joked for years now about the very title here. Only to be criticizing my own efforts. I have fallen short many times. I have moved laterally in my walk with the Lord, therefor allowing things of which are unholy, and by this behavior, I have to take full responsibility in the short comings of my children. My boys are “good” boys. They don’t smoke (although, I have recently learned a couple have tried it) they don’t drink, don’t skip school (even if they aren’t doing their homework) don’t do drugs, aren’t having sex, they attend church. Great kids right? Why is the standard set so low for great kids to be great? While they aren’t out doing these things, (or any of the things I did at their ages) what are they doing in their own lives to strengthen their relationship with Christ? What are they doing to positively impact a lost society of school aged children? What are they doing to lead their friends and family to the Savior? Is the question here, what are THEY doing, or shouldn’t it be what am I doing? The key is to dig deep into Gods word. Learn how to live by His word, and therefor reflect an image that your children will have no option but to mirror. I have already wasted so many valuable years in my children. Don’t waste them in yours. Be steadfast now! But if you too are like me and find yourself “getting it” after your children are growing. Fear not. God placed them in our care for a purpose. He entrusts you with His children. Continue to seek His guidance, in prayer and in study. He will direct your path! And know, that if you have instilled just the smallest bit of foundation into them, they WILL return to it. God’s word says so. It just might be a bumpier road along the way!

Train up a Child in the way He should go, and when he grows old he will not turn from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Thanksgiving Feast

And so the big day has come, Thanksgiving. A day to reflect on all that we are thankful for, or a day to pig out on as much food as we can fit into our bodies? Well it is quite possible that we have managed to do both here. What a great idea this year to have the turkey cooked off site. I had a nice relaxing day. The kids and I peeled some sweet and Idaho potatoes, prepared them for cooking. Dumped some green beans and mushroom soup in a dish and that completed our slavery for this great feast. (don’t worry, it catches up to me later) About 5 o’clock the family begins to flock in and all the wonderful fixings arrive. The turkey, ham, kielbasa, stuffing, pies, breads, drinks, and so much more. What a feast! I’m getting full just writing about it. Whatever happen to a good ol’ turkey on Thanksgiving day anyway? Did we really need a ham, and kielbasa? There was so much meat, I’m not a vegetarian, and even I was beginning to get offended! J

We ate until we couldn’t eat anymore. Then we returned for rounds two and three. The family gathered, ate, talked, laughed, and even took pictures. Everyone left, and there I was sitting in a kitchen FULL of dirty dishes. Including the roaster that I so gracefully did NOT cook the turkey in. I grumbled and I complained as I cleaned that mess all by myself. 3 days later, I was STILL scrapping the burnt stuffing out of that roaster pan. “Are they kidding me with this mess???” “Next year, we’re having it at their house, and I’M leaving the mess…that’s right!”

Then I finished, and began to reflect on the REALNESS of the holiday. I am grateful to have a home to host the holidays in, I am grateful to have a family and great friends to host the holiday with. I am grateful to have a wholesome meal in my belly. I will gladly embrace a kitchen full of dirty dishes to be able to enjoy the family that God has graciously blessed me with. Either that, or I will invest in aluminum and paper!

God Bless you and your family this Season of Thanksgiving!

Today I am Thankful

Today I am thankful!

Beginning to reflect upon the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I’ve decided to look at things a bit differently. A commonality of thankfulness, is often “I am thankful for my family” “I am thankful for my friends” “I am thankful for my job, my health, my, my, my”

Today I am thankful for the many hardships I have had in my life. For without them, I would not be the molded character I am today. And without them, I would not have a story to share, a testimony to give, and a call from God to follow, to reach out to other. Today I choose to be thankful for many things….

{{But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. 2 Tim 4:5 }}

{{Not only so, but we also rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4}}  

Today I am thankful that my parents divorced when I was young, for out of that I have been gifted with not only one, but two fathers who have taught me and nurtured me in more ways than they will ever know. Both spoken and unspoken lessons deeply rooted within me.

{{and parents are the pride of their children. Proverbs 17:6}}

Today I am thankful that both my mother and father were drug addicts throughout my entire childhood. For without that bondage in their life, they would have never learned to be set free. I praise God daily for their sobriety.

{{“Death has been swallowed up in victory” 1 Corinthians 15:54}}

Today I am thankful for the dysfunctional relationships I put myself in. For without them I would not have had my first 2 boys at such an early age, to teach me so much in life. Through those relationships, I have also been blessed with an amazing family that I consider like parents still to this day. I am also thankful for these relationships, for through them led a path to the amazing men of God, I call my husband today.

{{For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2:24}}

Today I am thankful for my oldest son who was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect called tretology of fallot, and underwent his first and only open heart surgery at 6 months of age. For through his triumphs, we have been able to glorify God every step of the way. Having the knowledge that I hold regarding this defect, it amazes me still today, 17 years later how well he really is doing.

{{For I am the Lord who heals you Exodus 15:26}}

Today I am thankful that my husband was injured on the job and unable to return to the work field. For through this, I was able to pursue my nursing degree, and allow the man of our home to raise our 5 boys.  Through this period, they shall rise up into amazing young men.

{{Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6}}

Today I am thankful that we struggle financially, for through our struggle I have found contentment. I don’t drive the nicest car, or have the nicest clothes. But we have heat in our home, clothes on our back, fuel in our tank, and food in our bellies. We “want” for much, but “need” nothing.

{{And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19}}

Today I am thankful that I did not have many friends, true friends while growing up, and even throughout my early adulthood. Yes, I had many women in my life, but very few to call my friends. For it has taught me to nurture the true friendships I do now hold. I have still few women in my life, but I hold them so very near and dear to my heart, and thank God for them every day.

{{Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13}}

Follow Your Heart

Follow Your Heart….

Often throughout our life, we hear our peers say to us “follow your heart”. We’re never willing to take a second thought. Often times these decisions that people allow their heart to make for them lead them into destruction. Sometimes events so tragic as leaving a spouse for another, just because it “feels” right. Or buying an item we really can’t afford, just because “we deserve it”, or possibly even receiving a gift, just “knowing it is a blessing”. We must know that our heart is ever so capable of misleading us. These heart lead decisions are often to root of a path unwinding to no good.  Why is it then, that we are still so foolishly willing to allow our heart to lead us? The world has us so convinced that we should follow our hearts and do what makes us happy. It isn’t about instant gratification; it’s about following the still small voice of the Lord, and waiting patiently upon Him.  Isaiah 40:31 says: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

I often encounter situations where I feel confused. I pray to the Lord for discernment, and then become frustrated because I follow my heart, and it misleads me. It is so difficult sometimes to discern that “gut feeling” which IS the Holy Spirit guiding you, and your “heart feeling” which IS your flesh telling you what you want, or what will make you feel good. Sometimes following the Holy Spirit is hard, it carries you through life journeys the long route, or the tough route. The amazing-ness of the Holy Spirit, is no matter how long the journey, or how difficult, you will not be alone! He is there with us every step of the way. We have to learn to recognize Him, lean on Him, and Trust in Him. God gives us wisdom, it is a gift and we are to use it. 1 Corinthians 2:12 (read 1 Corinthians 2:6-16)

I encourage you today to gain wisdom from the Holy Spirit. Seek from the Lord. If it feels right in your heart, but does not settle in your gut, ask the Lord if that is His Spirit speaking to you. Trust him, even when it doesn’t make sense, even when it hurts. You will reap the reward. It may not be today, it may not be in your timing, but it will be in His.

Hebrews 4:12 says: For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

“It judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart!!!” Well, it doesn’t get any more clear than that, does it? Guard your heart against the things of this world, search the Holy Spirit and He will dwell in you.

The next time you’re encouraged, or feel as if you should “Follow your Heart” pray to the Holy Spirit. Be cautious to listen for the Lord. And if you make a mistake, pick up the pieces and move forward. God is Merciful!

Holes in the Fence

The following story was recently shared with me by a dear friend....it was to good, not to share with you...

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him
a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must
hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had
driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned
to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually
dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to
drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He
told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out
one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father
that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led
him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the
holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say
things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put
a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you
say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare
jewels, indeed! They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They
lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open
their hearts to us."


"In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold" (Ephesians 4:26-27).

What Color is the crayon on your Heart?

Recently my 8 year old learned a new technique with coloring. With a lighter colored crayon, you write whatever chosen word (or even a picture) onto a piece of paper, you then take a much darker shade of another color, and firmly color over the entire word. Thirdly, you use an object such as a paper clip, or quarter to scratch the top layer of the word off. It seems to illuminate the word you have written. While creating his "Mater pieces", he looked up to me with much amazement in his little face and stated "It's so awesome how it just brings the word back to life"

I began to reflect on how that so very much relates to me, my heart, my person. I am usually such a bright shining star, a child of God, positive, encouraging....you get it! But the everyday darkness of this world begins to cover up that light and over time we no longer shine. We get sort of lost in the midst and the chaos of the darker colored crayon scribbling over our brightly colored crayon (our heart). Sometimes we may even conform to some of that darkness. With our language, our anger, or attitude. Maybe sharing with your girlfriends about "so and so".....yup, Gossip!

How amazing is it though that we serve such an awesome, merciful, and loving God. That gently yet firmly scratches away the surface of that darkness. Allowing the true light to "Come back to Life" in your heart, your person! Let's not fool ourselves though. While the darkness is scraped away from the surface, there is still much surrounding our light. What can we do to prevent that darkness from overcoming our light? God's word states that He will watch over us and protect us for ALL of our lives. Psalm 121:5-8 He is our shade, but not our dark colored crayon. He is our safe guard from harm. He will watch over us for now and evermore.

I challenge you today, to ask God from the depths of your heart, to begin to scrape away the dark colored crayon from your heart. Bringing your light back to life! guard and protect your heart by wrapping it in the word of God. Surround yourself by Godly people. Furthermore, when your heart is shining....expose it, let it shine, and let it shine brightly, so that no darkness may overcome it.